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But not today. Today was a day unlike any other day. Instead of refreshing my pants with my fabric refresher, I unknowingly Dove hairsprayed them “extra hold with natural movement.” Upon this realization, my poor heart was crushed. These few and far between moments when I am so lucky to refreshen my attire with a few flexes of my index finger; these moments I cherish so much, to have that very moment falsely thrown at me and then ripped away and laughing in my face shattered my entire universe for a brief second. Then in my despair I became angered. I went back and forth in my mind furiously asking the questions “Who did this?” “What kind of person would put two varying liquid products in two very similar looking bottles??” (See Figure 1).

This is not the first time a misjudgment of bottled products resulted undesirably for me. Once upon a time I wanted to gargle with mouth wash. So let me ask you this: If you were selling soap, would you color it minty blue and put it in a container that made it look like Scope? Answer: NO!

Up to now I have been silent, but no longer will I stand idly by. Today I spit the soap out of my mouth and declare that I will not tolerate these deceptions. Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. Take heed of my words and take action against faulty manufacturing. Do not let things like this happen to you and your children and your children’s children. A world where baby bottles and hydrochloric acid containers are identical is a world that I have no desire to live in.

Figure 1

This is all I have to say for now. I haven’t blogged in forever but I felt this was important…